What men want from women!!!

I am starting this blog with a simple yet complicated topic “What men want from women”…if we start a survey from women of different age and socio economic background we will get thousands of views, reasons, clarifications, instructions, to-do-list from them. No one will actually give a clear idea what exactly men want from women.

I am not here to criticize each of them or I am not here to give verdict about men but few things still strikes me as a woman and I am going to share it in my blog with this topic. Earlier when women were not exposed enough to outer world due to lack of education and were taught how to take care of the house by allowing them to play with clay pots, dolls and when they grow up a little their job used to help their mothers in the kitchen. By then a girl who was 10yrs old knew each and every thing about kitchen and the basic knowledge how to keep their man happy by feeding them good food and they become mastered in this art by helping their mothers. It is not that every woman has to go through this rig moral exception were there, for me the biggest example of women empowerment started at Thakurbari, Rabindrantha Tagore’s family. The ladies of that family were not only expert in cooking and household but they were well versed too in learning languages, singing, dancing to some extent and also they used to go to school! They were highly criticized then by their independent mentality and views of how important girls education is but they were the idol to many of girls, ladies then who were suppressed under the pressure of their family and used to stay behind curtains.

Our society was immune to the idea of not accepting the fact of girls education and it was somewhere believed that if a girl gets education then she will be widowed soon and her life will be rotten in hell. Here hell means to stay in either brothel or burden of her own family or will be a witch who will do 'jadu' to other men and society. Things were worse but thanks to our social reformers  like Vidyasagar, Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Sister Nivedita who took care of women. Slowly scenario changed and people understood the value of women education and now in 21^st century we hardly find any uneducated girl in our society. Only those belonging to below poverty line they find difficult to send their children to school but thanks to few of our NGO’s and other organizations who has come up with night school or trying to fund for their basic education.

But my blog is not about what was before and what is now but what is still there which can or cannot be changed in spite of proper education. We celebrate women empowerment, talking about equal rights in every sector etc but are our men or paternal society really do believe in this concept! 80% do but rest 20% doesn’t believe or want to accept women as their partner or competitor or equal rights believer. The society is yet to accept that a woman can do multi tasking better than man. It is proven also that a working woman can equally manage her house, husband (they need to be pampered and managed always), kids and office / business and they are supposed to attend family functions on time as a representative of their husband because husbands are working and they don’t have time but a working woman has to take out time from her office timing.   Where men gets tired to handle their office and office related politics and problems, at least 80% men are like that.

 

After reading then many men will get offended and start criticizing me of writing negative about them and they will say all men are not same. Absolutely sir all men are not same but as I have mentioned earlier as a disclaimer point that 80% men are same I will stick to that point. All men and women have same upbringing in today's time but still there is difference between them and what's that difference? The answer is mindset. A man raised by a woman too but she forgets that what she has gone through in her life (by sacrificing her dream, her job etc) she should not teach her son to encourage his future wife to sacrifice her dreams instead she should advice her son to encourage the woman of his life to pursue what she dreams of. Unfortunately this does not happen in the family, being a woman herself the mother teaches her son to be the boss of the house, to criticize his wife, always find faults what she cant and most importantly to compare between his mother and his wife.  If his wife doesn’t know how to cook then instead of helping her or showing her the man should raise his voice saying what she has done all these years at her father's place? Cant she even cook simple dal rice! With due respect sir all these years she was studying to pursue her dreams when you were doing the same at your place. She has higher degrees as you have, she can earn equally or may be little higher than you, she can gets promotion like u can but you and your family simple worried about her cooking skills.

A woman is raised in a different way, she should get her degrees in education. Sports, entertainment etc but she is taught to sacrifice all these if her in laws doesn’t support all these and wants her to be simple housewife with cooking and household things. Also there is one vital point she should not question why she cannot continue what she was doing before marriage, she should not ask why she has to sacrifice her hobbies and dreams and above all she should take permission all the time if she has to visit her parents or meeting friends or movies etc. Also she is taught that even if she is earning enough still she has to take permission to do anything with her money. Actually most of the cases it happens. Both the partners are working but when it comes to buy anything of her choice or to send some money to her parents (if she is a single child) then her husband comes in front and ask why she has to buy this thing or how much she has to send to her parents! Isn’t it weird? I mean what kind of this liberty men are talking about where women at every stage are accountable of their actions? Some can argue that it is not accountability its just understanding and being a couple they both should be accountable for each and every spending. Absolutely right sir but if may I ask that how much money you are sending to your parents? How much you are spending to buy things if it is just a luxury? And how many times you have discussed how much you both should spend and where? Most of you don’t discuss because you don’t bother as you feel women cannot manage their accounts. To your knowledge when you are unable to manage simple house expenses a woman with her skills and intelligence manage more wisely than you. But you will never acknowledge as your mail ego will hurt and your prestige will be down in front of others, specially to the society.

Time is changing but mentality is somewhere same. Today men want women to be perfect as T, she should be able to handle office stress, should be able to take care of the house (if maid doesn’t come then she should do all the house chores and then go to office), should keep breakfast-lunch-dinner ready for family or husband (if the family is nuclear), should be able to raise her kids and for that if needed she has to sacrifice her job, should be able to cook tasty meals and list is never ending.  As I have mentioned earlier I am not writing this to create a room of argument, it is just my opinion and individual point of view. Have nothing to do with anyone or anybody personal.  My only request to those 80% men that what is the harm if you come ahead and do the same what your wife, mother, sisters are doing? Why cannot you just look at the bigger picture and change your mindset? Time is changing, society will also change if you start changing yourself first. You, me and others create the society and we only make the dos and don'ts of the rule book and if we change our to do list and rule book will also change. Try it for you and for your future generation.